An Ode to Rusty Kuntz

Rusty Kuntz is not a made up baseball player, but rather an inspiration to compare current baseball players to all things sexual. Here is to you Rusty and Gaylord Perry.

Doug Fister and Madison Bumgarner are the starting pitchers for game 2 of the World Series. Fister will try to even up the series, while millions of young boys snicker every time his name is said. I am sure there will be a Tim McGarver "This a tight spot for Fister" or at least one can hope.

Tim Lincecum is on the border for a sexual name and there are no other players on the Tigers or Giants that elicit quick sexual jokes, which is why I have turned to sexual moves to compare teams.

Giants

The Sergio Romo- when you pull the switcheroo on a lady.
Romo the current Giants closer, seems to be trying to look like former Giants closer Brian Wilson. See

The Hunter Pence - when you hit on every girl, but only make awkward contact 10% of the time.
Free swinging Hunter Pence could obviously lead to comparisons to a swinger, but he doesn't score.

The Melky Cabrera - when you have your cousin relabel your Viagra.

The Marco Scutaro - when you go on Spring Break and your can't score, but then you return to whatever crappy location you come from you can all of a sudden score wildly.

Tigers 

The Justin Verlander - when you are amazing until you get in bed. 

The Prince Fielder - when you pick up a woman by telling her wild lies about yourself. 

The Miguel Cabrera - when you are not the most attractive, but you perform phenomenally in bed. Similar to this guy.  

The Delmon Young - when you can only score when you go to one bar.